For many people, finding themselves in need of marriage counseling is a reality. It does not matter how long someone has been married, whether it has been one year or twenty years, sometimes finding someone to confide in and to help work through the problems in a marriage is a necessity.
There are many ways to find a good marriage counselor. You could ask around to other married couples that you know to see if they have been to someone they trusted. You could also check your church or local community office to see if they offer these services there.
It is important that you find someone that you are comfortable talking to and that has built a strong reputation in their field. You can often get a referral from your family physician as well. Someone with a good reputation among other members within the medical community should be able to provide you and your spouse with the help that you need.
You and your spouse must both be comfortable talking to the counselor if the marriage counseling is going to work. If you are not both comfortable, look for another counselor. You and your spouse should also agree about the outcome you will be working towards. If the goal is to save your marriage and reignite the passion in your life, agree on it. If the goal is to see if your relationship is capable of being salvaged, agree on it.
Going for marriage counseling will not be effective if the two parties are interested in resolving the marital problems in different ways. If one person believes it is over and that it cannot be salvaged, going to marriage counseling will not work. You must both be willing to at least try to see if the faulty relationship can be repaired.
When you speak to the counselor, you should be prepared to delve into the areas of your relationship that are causing the most trouble. It could be private areas of your life like your intimacy, or it may be the stress that the children are having on your life. You have to be prepared to take an honest look at the source of the problems and decide if they can be rectified.
Your marriage counselor will help you unveil the problems that have created the stress in your life. They will expose the issues and help you work towards a resolution that works well for both parties. They will ask difficult questions that may bring up some hard emotions but if getting to the bottom of the problem is the goal then this is the way to do it.
Some people that look for marriage counseling do it because they have grown so comfortable with each other that the spice has gone right out of the relationship. The counselor will give you ideas and relationship advice on how to get to know each other on a new level and how to build the excitement back into a life that has become very routine.